人生的考验吗？

Is this the test in my life??

Yesterday...

We had a big argue...

Untill....

He ask me to go out with my friends...

He ask me find other guy spent time with me..

We nearly breakup..

I duno he really mean it or not..

I seriously I feel hurts...

Really hurts..

At last...

We spoke nicely...

It was a miscommunication...

thats y caused a lot misunderstanding..

TODAY...

It have good news and also bad news for me..

The god news was....

We didnt break up..

This is what was I wory the whole day..

Yes!! I dun 1 to breakup with him..

I do really love him...

Hope it is same ind opposite way..

The bad news was...

He told me... 

He will be very busy...

Busy with his insurance things...

Once I read this mgs...

My tears drop again...

I know...

He find money for our future...

I know..

He find more money for his family have better life..

I understand...

But... 

My heart feel unsecured...

I duno y...

I know...

I should trust me...

But...

My heart really feel uncomfortable...

I duno how is our future...

I duno what else I can say anymre...

But...

I wont stop him chasing his future...

Maybe..

I always wants him spent time with me..

Bcoz I m really feel lonely...

I guess...

Nobody knows... 

D most thing I scared of is LONELY......

This might be challenge in my life...

I will try to be more mature...

I will try to be more independent...

I know I can do it de~~~~

HAPPY CHALLENGE LIFE!!!!

Is it I have Problem?

My problem again???

Is it I duno how to communicate with people??

or...

I only live in my own world..

Nobody able communicate with me?

Why U can make me feel so moody???

No matter what I do...

WHY u also will angry at last de?

Is it u feel that I m annoying????

What type of girl u actually like???

Which type is yr dream girl??/

U like girl who quiet???

U like girl who wont make u shame when goin out with you??/

Or u need a girl who juz listen to you???

It been 7 months we together..

Why I feel that UNTIL NOW i m still unable to understand you??

Is it I have problem???

Or...

Is it bcoz I am not suitable to get into a relationship???

Yes!! 

I m childish!!!

I m noisy!!!!

I m 38~~

But!!! This is me!!!

At 1st you ady know.. Then why u still choose me???

I knw I m not suitable you...

I unable to comfort you in yr life...

I unable make you happy..

I duno what you need... 

I cant understand you easily...

But I have no choice...

I duno how to leave you...

I duno how to stop loving you...

All I can say...

If any one day u found the right girl..

PLEASE!!!!

Hurt me deeply....

主动~主动~ 主动！！

我做错了什么吗？？
还是说。。
你要我怎样？？

主动。。
我比很多女生主动了。。
我告诉自己你不主动没关系~
我来主动就好了。。
最重要我们开心~
原来。。
一切我想得太单纯了！！

牵你手。。
抱你。。
吻你。。
一切我都主动了。。
看来有时主动久了变得不重要，不特别了。。

对！我没你厉害！！
你的心情。。
“我”
这些小人物一点影响不到你！！
可能我在乎太多了。。
我的心情跟着他心情走。。
我已经不知道自己对还是错了。。
这么深爱着一个人。。

可是我也是人。。
我也有心情的。。
我也有失落的时候。。
为什么你的甜言密语就是那么吝啬呢？
难道我真的有那么糟糕。。
糟糕到你无法主动吗？

我也不知道为什么那么爱你啊。。
我也不知道为什么那么喜欢粘你。。
就无法控制啊！

这是我的问题吗？？
是我不正常吗？？
还是？？
我在乎多了。。
没给到属于他的私人空间？？
我应该怎样做才能变得更好呢？
是我不够了解你吗？？

其实我要的东西很简单呀。。
我只需要你哄哄我。。
给我点点的安全感。。
可是。。
抱歉！ 却造成。。。。
你的困扰和不快乐。。

我！！！
我会学会独立坚强的。。
我一定可以学会的。。
希望几年后的我。。
会变成你喜欢的那种女生。。

Starting...

Today~~
Heard some words...
That make me feel ....
Duno started from when...
slowly..
and...
slowly...
I had change..


"I AM SORRY"

I hate this words the most!!
But I duno how many times u gonna to say this to me..
When you started your insurance..
I guess this must be thousand n thousand times..


"No matter how busy WOMEN are, They always THINK the person they LOVE most"

When I saw this statement..
It is absolutely right..
Yes!! No matter how busy I m..
I will always think of him..
But MEN???
What is a MEN minded???
I guess... He did not..

Everything will started to change when HE start his insurance..
Everything I need to get use again..
I need to get use with his SORRY..
I need to get use he did not much time for me..
Is it a good thing or bad thing??
Our relationship will last???
I duno... I really duno..
D only thing I can do is TRUST the FAITH..

When He is unhappy..
My heart automatically
Support him.. Console him..
But when comes to he is serious enter to d job..
WHY???
My heart is crying??? worrying???
M i selfish??
Why do I so care???
Maybe...

~太过爱，也，太怕失去~

I will not stop him..
I will not let him knw how much I m unwilling..
I will not him knw how much worry I m..
Hope He successful in his future..
About me n him....
All I can say..
and
All I can believe
is still.....
depends on...
"FAITH"

Hello~~

I got d feeling.. to re-open my blog again..
Finally today.. I open it..
I read my previous blog.. OMG!!!!
The last blog with title "Bear Bear" was wrote last year..
When d time I fall in love with him..
n now.. today...
20/11/2013 - He is already my bf..
We been together for 7 months..
OMG!!! Its really...
AMAZING...
UNEXPECTABLE...
Yes!!! Time passed so fast..
my job... my life...
had change...
I m currently working in PJ- Price Solution HR dept..
I m currently in a relationship...
n I m not studying not d moment..
seems like no more student life for me..
EVERYTHING....
change to reality...
day by date getting mature..

About my relationship with him..
1st at all, we never tot will be together..
especially me!!I NEVER EVER expect he will love me as well..
its really unexpectable..
I would like to thank god that give us the faith to be together.
I do hope this relationship will last long..
His name is Sean..
My 3rd bf..
He was a playboy last time (*this what make me dosent trust him love me as well)
He is 10 years elder than me..
He is quiet,,,
n of course.. he also a boring person...
Sometimes he use to petty..
Sometimes he unable to give me much opinion when I needed..
BUT!!!!
I still love the way he r..
He is caring..
He use a diff way to love me..
He quite tolerate with me..
Although somtimes we will argue,
a few times mention about breakup..
maybe,
This what call d age gap..
Luckily his toleration r still maintaining our relationship..
Hope he is d LAST guy in my life..
AND
the most IMPORTANT!!
SEAN!!! I do REALLY LOVE you <3 <3

LOL!!! SHY SHY!!!!
haha:DD

OK!! Today back to d blog.. the main reason is bcoz would like to update all my life time in blog,and after few years open and read back.. its quite meaningful..

and what make me have d intention to back to blog?
It is bcoz I saw 1 of my friends blog.. She wrote about during secondary school time.. until now how much her life had change.. its so meaningful..

Although previous last few years my blog had LOST!! Its ok.. Its Fine.. Everything start from today.. My life started with HIM<<< D person I LOVE D MOST ^^